Unreliable people

Over the years I’ve been programmed to depend on myself because of how flaky my circle of “friends” has become. Although one might consider this to be quite the lonely lifestyle, I’ve never really been more comfortable with it than I am right now. I show up, I’m on time and I’m not exploding with excuses. It’s kind of amazing actually. 


I remember walking through shattered glass
Pieced together by false I love you’s
Lost in the cracks of a severed sorrow
I can barely remember any smiles
Mostly tears that covered the anguish
In the walls of our relationship
Leaving me in her shadows
With a heart still bleeding broken promises
Every invested emotion now frozen
I learn how not to feel
And that every woman was put on this earth
With the intention to hurt and deceive
And just as I think that
I meet you
Wearing painted smiles like badges of honor
My hopelessness somehow melts to faith
I find myself in the confinements of my room
Nervously searching for the perfect words
To please the pallet
Of the world’s most beautiful poet


The words of a familiar stranger, still piercing the back of my neck, a sour flavor I cannot remove from my taste buds,so I eat it. I swallow the bruises I left on your heart and pray to God they won’t be there tomorrow but they will be,because now they are scars and no coco butter poetry will ever heal them. Sunlight turns to darkness and I am forced to remember the instant message that infected my computer screen with compliments and as I feed into each one I get hungrier for something I already have on the other side of the phone sleeping,someone clearly worth keeping, but for that moment my heart is on vacation so I tear hers apart without thinking, now on the floor I crawl with rug burned knees picking up piece by piece,trying to put back together the puzzle I spent so long solving. My mistake tattooed on each teardrop as it slides downs the side of her face and heads for the pavement but before it hits rock bottom baby I’ll catch it. No longer can I stand to hear the words “how could you” bleed from the lips of an angel. I know I’m not perfect but for perfection I’ll strive,and if that means I need to bite off more than I can chew then whatever I can’t swallow I’ll stick in my pockets,tomorrows security deposit. Because I am no superman. My only magic powers are raveled around HER chest, so to be able to fly I must lay my mistake 6 feet under in a graveyard I refuse to visit.